After a breakup, most people are asking themselves, "How do I get my ex-girlfriend back?" They go back over their whole history, trying to decide what they could have done or said differently. They work on long letters of apology, e-mails, phone messages and whatever else they can think of to try to get their relationship back on track.
This almost never works for mainly one reason: you never really know why it ended. A woman can get depressed or feel trapped for any or no reason and she may not even know why she began to feel that way, much less tell you. Working so hard to figure this out, is really a waste of time and energy and will wear you out.
The most effective thing you can do for the question, "how do I get my ex girlfriend back," at this point is also the best for you personally. Relax. Get your posture back. Tell the man in the mirror you are not half a man without her. Use your time and energy for something else and try to get your mind off your relationship. Rebuild your network. Go kick it with the guys or otherwise ground yourself in your own life.
Take a couple of months off from chasing your ex and make some changes in your life. You will be surprised at the good it does.
This way you can get your life back under control. You will have a different point of view regarding relationships and the one with your ex in particular. When you are grounded in yourself, you will have a better idea how you feel about her and what to do about it.
Now. Assuming some time has passed, do you still want her back? Are you ready to move on instead? You are more centered now, so plan according to your choice, not your compulsion. Now you can start to figure out how she really feels about you.
It is time now to come at this more decisively. Plan your next moves carefully, not just going back pleading for her to reconsider and come back to you. Now is not the time to be emotional about this to that extent.
What you should be doing instead, is playing it cool with her. If you have been apart for a while as described above, she has already probably been missing you. Go in with the attitude that you are fine but you would like her in your life. You are not shredded without her but you have strength to offer her as well and want her love. You can play a little coy but not like you are indifferent. Your strength should cause her to reconsider. Girls generally don't like weak and needy. Do you?
At this point it will begin to be clear whether you will or will not be getting back with your ex girlfriend. Don't try to analyze everything you should say and do to the point that you do nothing. You want to know, "how do I get my ex girlfriend back," so to get the answer to that question you need to play it cool and take your time. It may happen and it may not. Either way, you are strong. You can handle it.
This almost never works for mainly one reason: you never really know why it ended. A woman can get depressed or feel trapped for any or no reason and she may not even know why she began to feel that way, much less tell you. Working so hard to figure this out, is really a waste of time and energy and will wear you out.
The most effective thing you can do for the question, "how do I get my ex girlfriend back," at this point is also the best for you personally. Relax. Get your posture back. Tell the man in the mirror you are not half a man without her. Use your time and energy for something else and try to get your mind off your relationship. Rebuild your network. Go kick it with the guys or otherwise ground yourself in your own life.
Take a couple of months off from chasing your ex and make some changes in your life. You will be surprised at the good it does.
This way you can get your life back under control. You will have a different point of view regarding relationships and the one with your ex in particular. When you are grounded in yourself, you will have a better idea how you feel about her and what to do about it.
Now. Assuming some time has passed, do you still want her back? Are you ready to move on instead? You are more centered now, so plan according to your choice, not your compulsion. Now you can start to figure out how she really feels about you.
It is time now to come at this more decisively. Plan your next moves carefully, not just going back pleading for her to reconsider and come back to you. Now is not the time to be emotional about this to that extent.
What you should be doing instead, is playing it cool with her. If you have been apart for a while as described above, she has already probably been missing you. Go in with the attitude that you are fine but you would like her in your life. You are not shredded without her but you have strength to offer her as well and want her love. You can play a little coy but not like you are indifferent. Your strength should cause her to reconsider. Girls generally don't like weak and needy. Do you?
At this point it will begin to be clear whether you will or will not be getting back with your ex girlfriend. Don't try to analyze everything you should say and do to the point that you do nothing. You want to know, "how do I get my ex girlfriend back," so to get the answer to that question you need to play it cool and take your time. It may happen and it may not. Either way, you are strong. You can handle it.
About the Author:
Learn more about The Magic of Making Up. Stop by Sam Crumpton's site where you can find out all about how toget your ex girlfriend back.
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