Labels and dating, they go hand in hand. People always put their own prejudices out there, putting a label on you for just being you. If you want to be cautious when dating, you are called frigid. If you want to be more outgoing, then you are a player. It really is quite ridiculous.
These types of label are many and varied and they are a problem. They make you feel like you need to justify your dating decisions. It can go further than that too. They can change your decision making process putting you in situations you don't want to be in. They can put you off dating altogether.
In this article I want to discuss the term that is being bandied around a fair bit at the moment - the player. I want to focus on the player particularly because of a comment I heard recently. This comment was "Yes, everyone calls him a player, but I don't understand it. When you ask them, no-one has seen him "playing"."
I find it very strange that a man who is open to discussing his romantic life, with the intent of learning and improving himself, is labelled a player.
There are different rules for men and women in this regard. It is very acceptable for women to gather and discuss their relationships, learning from each other and offering advice. There are groups of men who do the same, but its very rare and always deliberate. Its not a natural state of affairs for men to gather and communicate like this.
What this means is that women are afforded the luxury of learning about men and dating, through the sharing of experience. Comparatively, men are not. Men by and large must learn as individuals, from their own mistakes.
There are two reasons I can think of that causes this issue. Firstly, there is the concept of "A gentleman never kisses and tells". Men are indoctrinated by women not to talk about their experiences, all the while the same women are sharing everything. The second is that men tend to be very competitive when it comes to women, which leads to bravado rather than open communication.
This causes a big issue in our society today. If you, as a man, actively pursue learning and self improvement in the romantic part of your life, you will create a more harmonious and enjoyable experience for yourself AND the women you are dating. This is a good thing. If being called a player is a barrier to this (ie. it makes you feel uncomfortable about sharing your experiences with other me and/or looking for advice), it becomes a inhibitor to your happiness and the happiness of the women you date. That cannot be good!
So, if you are a man and understand exactly what we are saying here, you need to realise that if you are genuinely interested in self improvement in the romantic part of your life, if you want to understand women better and interact with them in a more mutually beneficial way, you are not a player. You are human and you are allowed to discuss this with other men. As long as you are being honest and compassionate to your partner, you are actually doing a good thing.
These types of label are many and varied and they are a problem. They make you feel like you need to justify your dating decisions. It can go further than that too. They can change your decision making process putting you in situations you don't want to be in. They can put you off dating altogether.
In this article I want to discuss the term that is being bandied around a fair bit at the moment - the player. I want to focus on the player particularly because of a comment I heard recently. This comment was "Yes, everyone calls him a player, but I don't understand it. When you ask them, no-one has seen him "playing"."
I find it very strange that a man who is open to discussing his romantic life, with the intent of learning and improving himself, is labelled a player.
There are different rules for men and women in this regard. It is very acceptable for women to gather and discuss their relationships, learning from each other and offering advice. There are groups of men who do the same, but its very rare and always deliberate. Its not a natural state of affairs for men to gather and communicate like this.
What this means is that women are afforded the luxury of learning about men and dating, through the sharing of experience. Comparatively, men are not. Men by and large must learn as individuals, from their own mistakes.
There are two reasons I can think of that causes this issue. Firstly, there is the concept of "A gentleman never kisses and tells". Men are indoctrinated by women not to talk about their experiences, all the while the same women are sharing everything. The second is that men tend to be very competitive when it comes to women, which leads to bravado rather than open communication.
This causes a big issue in our society today. If you, as a man, actively pursue learning and self improvement in the romantic part of your life, you will create a more harmonious and enjoyable experience for yourself AND the women you are dating. This is a good thing. If being called a player is a barrier to this (ie. it makes you feel uncomfortable about sharing your experiences with other me and/or looking for advice), it becomes a inhibitor to your happiness and the happiness of the women you date. That cannot be good!
So, if you are a man and understand exactly what we are saying here, you need to realise that if you are genuinely interested in self improvement in the romantic part of your life, if you want to understand women better and interact with them in a more mutually beneficial way, you are not a player. You are human and you are allowed to discuss this with other men. As long as you are being honest and compassionate to your partner, you are actually doing a good thing.
About the Author:
Dating In Oz - Important dating advice for him and information about Australian Dating Sites. Unique version for reprint here: It Is Good For A Man To Be A Player - This Is Why.
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