It goes without saying that choosing to enter treatment or a Twelve Step program presents a unique set of challenges. One that many people do not anticipate is the experience of entering a culture in which people communicate. For men especially, this can be an unfamiliar and uncomfortable experience. But this is also the beginning of the most rewarding journey they will ever take: a man's journey through the Twelve Steps.
My passion in life is about creating gender awareness for men in recovery, to help men look more honestly at the realities of their lives, and to approach and respond to the challenges we face as men in Western society. Two big questions drive this passion and form the foundation of my book A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps:
1.) Who am I? For most people starting the journey of recovery, the true answer to this question is: "I don't know." While A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps won't address every issue men face, it does help readers face the changes they know they have to make. Men will find parts of themselves they had tried to run away from, forgotten, or never knew were there.
2.) What does it mean to be a man? There are certain ways of being, thinking and acting that many men just assume are just part of being a man. They often don't see that they are following a cultural "script" for being a man. Every day, they are putting on a costume and acting out that script. Addictions to drugs, sex, rage, gambling or relationships are part of the fabric of that costume. But the true self remains disguised. A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps is meant to get their attention. My goal is for men to think about what it means to be a man, especially in the context of recovery.
Many men have never given thought to what being a man has to do with our recovery. Many assume that "men are the way they are," and they don't understand that the narrow definition of manhood in our culture causes a great deal of limitation and pain. The hopeful news is that today it's easier than ever to recognize how the ways we are raised create limitations for both genders.
Throughout A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps, I examine how men are raised within the script of these cultural expectations, with the hope that they will start to form more genuine and balanced ideas of who they are as men. How we see ourselves affects how we engage in our recovery, how we see the Steps, and how we look at and respond to challenges. Without this more complete vision of what it is to be men, it can be difficult in our relationships with other men and women and in our recovery.
As men in recovery, we have addiction (and the mess it has caused) in common. We also share a common solution: the Twelve Steps. With every step we take toward shedding parts of our costume and genuinely loving ourselves more, we begin to see the never ending possibilities for who we can be and how we can live. With that hope comes the freedom to be who we are, regardless of society's box of masculinity. By being true to ourselves, we are already becoming the best men we can be.
My passion in life is about creating gender awareness for men in recovery, to help men look more honestly at the realities of their lives, and to approach and respond to the challenges we face as men in Western society. Two big questions drive this passion and form the foundation of my book A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps:
1.) Who am I? For most people starting the journey of recovery, the true answer to this question is: "I don't know." While A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps won't address every issue men face, it does help readers face the changes they know they have to make. Men will find parts of themselves they had tried to run away from, forgotten, or never knew were there.
2.) What does it mean to be a man? There are certain ways of being, thinking and acting that many men just assume are just part of being a man. They often don't see that they are following a cultural "script" for being a man. Every day, they are putting on a costume and acting out that script. Addictions to drugs, sex, rage, gambling or relationships are part of the fabric of that costume. But the true self remains disguised. A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps is meant to get their attention. My goal is for men to think about what it means to be a man, especially in the context of recovery.
Many men have never given thought to what being a man has to do with our recovery. Many assume that "men are the way they are," and they don't understand that the narrow definition of manhood in our culture causes a great deal of limitation and pain. The hopeful news is that today it's easier than ever to recognize how the ways we are raised create limitations for both genders.
Throughout A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps, I examine how men are raised within the script of these cultural expectations, with the hope that they will start to form more genuine and balanced ideas of who they are as men. How we see ourselves affects how we engage in our recovery, how we see the Steps, and how we look at and respond to challenges. Without this more complete vision of what it is to be men, it can be difficult in our relationships with other men and women and in our recovery.
As men in recovery, we have addiction (and the mess it has caused) in common. We also share a common solution: the Twelve Steps. With every step we take toward shedding parts of our costume and genuinely loving ourselves more, we begin to see the never ending possibilities for who we can be and how we can live. With that hope comes the freedom to be who we are, regardless of society's box of masculinity. By being true to ourselves, we are already becoming the best men we can be.
About the Author:
Dan Griffin, M.A. is author of A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps and co-author of the groundbreaking curriculum Helping Men Recover, which looks comprehensively and holistically at men's recovery from addiction.
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