Most men I've talked to over the years in the journey through recovery can identify some event in their lives when they realized it was unacceptable to express certain feelings, especially if those feelings showed weakness, vulnerability or sensitivity. Crying most of all was strictly discouraged.
They also learned-through everyday interactions with other males but also through abuse or traumatic experiences-that the only real way to express things like hurt, rejection, fear or sadness was through the path of anger and violence.
You might be wondering, "How is this related to the Twelve Steps?"-and on the surface, it might seem disconnected. But this is a conversation that all men in recovery should have with their loved ones and peers in recovery to begin to explore the connections between violence and the abuse and trauma they've experienced.
One of the most helpful realizations in addiction treatment is our growing understanding of trauma. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines an event as traumatic when both of the following are present: "(1) the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others, and (2) the person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror."
Mental health practitioners understand now that what sets trauma apart is not the event itself as much as an individual's response to the event. It's important to know that if you've had a traumatic experience and still suffer from it, this does not mean you're weak or sick or that it is in any way your fault. When the true effects of trauma go untreated, men in recovery-even long-term recovery-find that they are relapsing, abusing loved ones, isolating from others and their Twelve Step communities, destroying their marriages and acting out in ways that damage themselves and others. A man can work the Steps religiously, but the emotional, physical and psychological fallout of unacknowledged trauma will keep him stuck in the confusion, pain, depression, hopelessness and anger of addictive and unhealthy behaviors. Those around him might identify him as a "dry drunk" even though he has been sober for years.
Of course, men are rarely encouraged to talk about their experiences of abuse or violence, and our culture seems very conflicted about what is acceptable behavior both from and towards boys and men. One notable exception to this norm produced an amazing cultural breakthrough regarding men's experience of trauma. It started with Tyler Perry talking about his own sexual abuse and culminated in November 2010 when Oprah aired an episode focusing on men's needs. Two hundred men came forward about sexual abuse they had experienced. Their loved ones also heard these stories-many for the first time-and were then able to show their support.
Only recently have we started to make the connection between the violence and abuse perpetrated on boys and men, how men are raised in this society, and the violence men commit. Every man I spoke with during the writing of A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps had experienced some kind of emotional or verbal abuse, and many talked about physical abuse, as well. A small percentage of men also admitted having been sexually abused. The silence that many men feel forced to keep around these traumatic experiences causes a great deal of pain and-not surprisingly-often becomes a factor in their addictive behaviors down the line.
So, if we know that abuse, trauma and violence against boys and men are so strongly associated with addiction-and if we know that the aftermath of these experiences, if left untreated, can cause major psychological, emotional, relational, physical and spiritual destruction-doesn't it seem not only logical but necessary to create addiction treatment curricula that are trauma-informed? I would say that we as care providers are obligated to respond to the powerful role that trauma plays in men's identity, addiction and recovery. In addition, I think we should offer help and healing opportunities not just for the addictive behavior on the surface, but for the untold grief, pain, violence and fear that feed and underlie it.
Over the next month, I will be writing a series of articles on men's experiences with violence and how a trauma-informed curriculum can address their unique needs in recovery. My hope is that you will join this conversation, share your stories, and help get the word out about this important issue.
They also learned-through everyday interactions with other males but also through abuse or traumatic experiences-that the only real way to express things like hurt, rejection, fear or sadness was through the path of anger and violence.
You might be wondering, "How is this related to the Twelve Steps?"-and on the surface, it might seem disconnected. But this is a conversation that all men in recovery should have with their loved ones and peers in recovery to begin to explore the connections between violence and the abuse and trauma they've experienced.
One of the most helpful realizations in addiction treatment is our growing understanding of trauma. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines an event as traumatic when both of the following are present: "(1) the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others, and (2) the person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror."
Mental health practitioners understand now that what sets trauma apart is not the event itself as much as an individual's response to the event. It's important to know that if you've had a traumatic experience and still suffer from it, this does not mean you're weak or sick or that it is in any way your fault. When the true effects of trauma go untreated, men in recovery-even long-term recovery-find that they are relapsing, abusing loved ones, isolating from others and their Twelve Step communities, destroying their marriages and acting out in ways that damage themselves and others. A man can work the Steps religiously, but the emotional, physical and psychological fallout of unacknowledged trauma will keep him stuck in the confusion, pain, depression, hopelessness and anger of addictive and unhealthy behaviors. Those around him might identify him as a "dry drunk" even though he has been sober for years.
Of course, men are rarely encouraged to talk about their experiences of abuse or violence, and our culture seems very conflicted about what is acceptable behavior both from and towards boys and men. One notable exception to this norm produced an amazing cultural breakthrough regarding men's experience of trauma. It started with Tyler Perry talking about his own sexual abuse and culminated in November 2010 when Oprah aired an episode focusing on men's needs. Two hundred men came forward about sexual abuse they had experienced. Their loved ones also heard these stories-many for the first time-and were then able to show their support.
Only recently have we started to make the connection between the violence and abuse perpetrated on boys and men, how men are raised in this society, and the violence men commit. Every man I spoke with during the writing of A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps had experienced some kind of emotional or verbal abuse, and many talked about physical abuse, as well. A small percentage of men also admitted having been sexually abused. The silence that many men feel forced to keep around these traumatic experiences causes a great deal of pain and-not surprisingly-often becomes a factor in their addictive behaviors down the line.
So, if we know that abuse, trauma and violence against boys and men are so strongly associated with addiction-and if we know that the aftermath of these experiences, if left untreated, can cause major psychological, emotional, relational, physical and spiritual destruction-doesn't it seem not only logical but necessary to create addiction treatment curricula that are trauma-informed? I would say that we as care providers are obligated to respond to the powerful role that trauma plays in men's identity, addiction and recovery. In addition, I think we should offer help and healing opportunities not just for the addictive behavior on the surface, but for the untold grief, pain, violence and fear that feed and underlie it.
Over the next month, I will be writing a series of articles on men's experiences with violence and how a trauma-informed curriculum can address their unique needs in recovery. My hope is that you will join this conversation, share your stories, and help get the word out about this important issue.
About the Author:
Dan Griffin, M.A., has worked in the mental health and addictions field for over 16 years. He is co-author of the groundbreaking trauma informed curriculum, Helping Men Recover, which looks comprehensively and holistically at men's needs and issues in recovery.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Check this link for other related articles:
My Random Articles
Yey Health