Friday, February 11, 2011

Reasons To Gain A Sense Of Self Before Getting Into A Relationship

By Ricky Cooper


In the most basic years of our lives, our views of the self materialize from the unification of the mother and the baby. Eventually, we grasp the concept that we are detached from our guardians. Initially, we acknowledge that we have a detached corpse and then we form a character whose foundation is the answer we get from our guardians.

As we age with time, we gain a separate persona by carry out developmental duties, and become conscious of the fact that we cannot be amalgamated with another human being. We may associate with other people and search for proximity with them, but it will always be from a different angle of advantageous detachment.

No one can straightforwardly understand another person's reality. If we want another person to know us, we should be in touch with him. This can be both hard and irritating as we want our partners to understand us the way we want to be understood and to corroborate to our thoughts and ideas by agreeing with us.

But everyone have their own thoughts and understanding of life, which makes them live in their own world different from ours. An obvious understanding and acceptance of this difference is the beginning real attachment with the other person.

It is the formula of trying to get familiar with another person and getting familiarized by him that involves the acknowledging of proximity, but since this formula consists of exasperation and disputes, those who accept these complications accomplish proximity in their relationship.

It is highly important that if we want to attach ourselves with another person then we should first attach ourselves to our 'self', because in order to accept another person's difference, we should first come to terms with our own difference, or else we will search for combination, and not attachment.

To receive higher levels of attachment, we should build up an independent value of ourselves, meaning that we should be aware of our value even if we are not being told by another person. This is care for our self.

Being contented with the reviews of the society about you will always make you unhappy unless someone comes to you and addresses you beautifully, but this is not the actual closeness. Closeness is the effect of two different personalities trying to acknowledge and get acknowledged, accept and be accepted.




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